What’s next?

Several days (weeks?) ago, Evan Sanders at The Better Man Project wrote about something that made a lot of sense to me. (BTW, go check out his site. AH-MAY-ZING) I don’t remember exactly which blog it was or I would link to it (Sorry, Evan, and if you know which one I’m talking about, leave me a comment and I’ll link to it).

I don’t even remember what the blog post was about but this idea stuck with me. People plan and plan and plan new goals and new resolutions without planning about what they will have to remove. It doesn’t even have to be something negative that needs removed. It could be that you need to remove something good to have something great. Until you can identify and remove the old, you can never bring in the new. We humans have a finite amount of things we can deal with at one time.

Pretty powerful, huh? Obviously, everyone’s list of things is going to be different. You have a different reaction to stress than me. You have different amounts of time free or busy at different times than me. You have different goals, hopes and dreams than me. (All great because life would suck if we were all the same!)

I used to have this problem. I used to be one of those people who would set New Year’s Resolutions and watch them turn into nothing. Some of that was not caring, some was not knowing how to set SMART goals, some was just the immaturity that I needed to grow out of on my own.

I haven’t had this problem for about a year and a half. I really hadn’t put it into words but I knew way down deep when I could add something new as a goal and when I was already overwhelmed and I would start cutting, sometimes without even realizing I was doing it.

Now, however, I need to cut some okay things and some good things to make way for the great things and it’s actually scarier feeling than I thought it would be. It’s easy to look at something and say “This is bad (or harmful or toxic or whatever). This has to go.”  It’s a lot harder to look at something and say “This isn’t hurting me but it really isn’t what I want or need anymore so I need to make space for something better.”

So, in between a full class load, a part-time job, and being a mommy, I’m going to be doing a lot of soul-searching and a lot of list making to figure out what needs to stay and what needs to go. And I’m not just talking stuff in my home but in my mind, heart and soul as well. And since I know I need a deadline or I’ll just let life get me too busy, I’m going to randomly pick November 12, 2012 as a date to have a plan at least 75% ready to work on.

Be the change you want to see, my friends!

1 of 1025, with Honors

I couldn’t sleep the night before commencement. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I was excited, proud, eager and, at the same time, nervous and ready for it to be over with.

The sun woke me up about 6 am even though I had the alarm set for 7. I would have let Morgan sleep in longer but she was up, too. Every 20 minutes or so, Morgan would ask if it was time to leave yet. I think she was as excited as I was.

The day started muggy and hot. I knew it would get hotter as it got later. The heat was the main reason commencement was scheduled to start at 9:45. We had bottles of water and snacks packed and she had a bag with coloring books and toys to keep her busy during the ceremony. I knew we would be there about 3 hours and I knew she wouldn’t be able to sit still that long. My mom met us there and kept Morgan while I went up to the staging area.

There were hundreds of graduates milling around. No one seemed to know where to go or what to do. We were told to show up by 8:45 for the Marshalls to explain what would happen but there were no Marshalls until about 9:30. At that point, it became chaos as they tried to line us up into some semblance of order so we could march in. I was surprised to hear Pomp and Circumstance start playing at exactly 9:45. I thought there was no way we would actually start on time.

It took 20 minutes for all the graduates to march in. The girl in front of me had on 3 or 4 inch heels. She held onto the guy in front of her the whole way down the stairs. Oh yes, down the stairs. I should have counted them but it was probably 40 or 50 stairs. We were in the University of Dayton Arena. (If anyone has been there, we were walking from the “Flight Deck” down to the floor of the arena.)

After we all marched in, the bagpipes played as the President of Sinclair and the Deans and Trustees marched up to the stage. I’m incredibly proud of my Scottish and Irish heritage and could not stand still while the bagpipes were playing. Sinclair was founded by a Scot and as such we are the Sinclair Tartans. Our mascot is a lion but I have no clue why!

I don’t remember much of the ceremony itself. The class gift was a scholarship donation of $5,000. The guest speaker was a lady and fortunately her speech was short. They awarded two professors Emeritus status. And then we received our diplomas (well diploma covers!).

It took almost an hour and a half for all 1025 us of to walk across the stage. 1,025! We were the largest graduating class in Sinclair history. I have a feeling next year’s class will break our record. Sinclair breaks the degrees up into four divisions: Division of Liberal Arts, Communication and Social Sciences; Division of Science, Mathematics and Engineering; Division of Business and Public Service (Holler!); and Division of Life and Health Sciences.

Out of the 1025 graduates, I knew 3. I barely remember the 3 seconds it took for the Dean of Business and Public Services to say my name. I know she said it (Rachel M. White, with Honors) but it happened so fast. Our President, Dr. Johnson, handed me my diploma cover, 2 of the Trustees were there to offer congratulations, then over to the photographer to have a 2 second photo taken, and then back to my seat. After that, I have to admit, I pretty much zoned out. I don’t remember much again until we stood up to move our tassels from right to left. I almost cried.

After we had officially graduated, Dr. Johnson did something they do at every graduation. He asked a series of questions and had us stand up if the answer was yes. When he got to the question “Who here is the first person in their immediate family to graduate?,” I was in tears then because I am the first person in my family to graduate from college.

In some ways, it still doesn’t feel like I’ve really graduated. I know that final grades from Spring quarter won’t be submitted until tomorrow. I know that it will probably take a couple of weeks before they verify my records and print and mail actual diplomas. I also know that I don’t have any classes to go to but it still feels like I do. I still think I need to wake up in the morning and get ready for Management 250 (probably the most informative and useful class I’ve taken so far). Three years of classes is a hard habit to break.

I also know it’s time for the next adventure. Time for more changes and time to make a difference. Be change and make a difference in your world!

Some new goals

Now that I’m thisclose to being done with school (for a while anyway), I’ve been thinking about what my next goals should be. I’ve accomplished so much in my education and I want to take that feeling of accomplishment further in my life.

So, here are some of my new short-term goals, in no particular order…

I will finish my Bachelor’s by December 2013.

I will work out every other day to get my muscles back and tone down those 15 pounds that came back from being lazy. I will lose those 15 pounds by October 15, 2012. (I’m pretty sure this one will happen sooner. Power 90 kicks my butt and makes the weight fall off so fast!)

I will write most or all of a book during NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month. I found out about this wonder last year after NaNo, which happens in November and decided to give it a shot this year.)

Some long-term goals…

I will own a 4 bedroom house with at least 5 acres of land to make my own mountain bike/running/hiking trail. I’m giving myself 5 years on this one, so by June 2017.

I will own dogs, huskies or labs, and will be a rescue shelter for dogs and cats. Since I need the house and land to do this one, this is also a 5 year goal, June 2017.

The Balance Journey (Day 4)

I had the opportunity this morning to say some things I had been afraid to say. It took more courage than I thought I had. Much to my surprise, the other person (my boss) accepted my point of view and made the comment that what I said had never been explained in that way before and made a lot of sense. I made a difference today in how the rest of the team will be treated from here on out.

The long and short of the issue is that there really is no “I” in “Team” but when the team is forced to compete against each other, then that places an “I” in “Team” which doesn’t help the team in any way, shape, or form. I called the entire team on it but especially our boss. I told her I felt some of the reason she isn’t seeing the passion, drive and cooperation from us that she wants to see is because we don’t know what she wants. Are we working together today or are we working against each other today? Can we depend on each other or not? Are we “I” or “Team”?

Please don’t think I’m against competition. One team against another creates great competition. It encourages you to do your best work. But competition inside the team can only lead to destruction. You don’t know who to trust or what to believe. I spoke up against that, not competition on the whole.

I feel empowered for using my voice the way I wanted to use my voice. I had something to say that I needed to say and I said it. I didn’t swallow it and hope someone else would see the injustice and fix it. I did it myself.

As Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”