The Balance Journey (Day 18)

Today was bad. Today was climb back into bed and start over bad.Today decided to knock me out in a one-two punch.

Today also taught me a valuable lesson on my journey.

“How?”, you might ask. Today reminded me that good days require bad days. Everything gets balanced. Everything! I’m learning that the hard way some days. Today felt a lot like the rainy day I wrote about a few days ago. Today was emotionally a very gray, cold, cloudy day. Which means that soon that emotional sun is going to come out and things will look brighter. It also means the emotional rain was something I needed to experience. I will grow from this experience.

Today was another stepping stone in my personal growth. I did have a meltdown. (I’m famous for meltdowns. I’m too high-strung and freak out over little things.) I had my pity party. Today’s pity party was drastically shorter than normal though.

I’ve read that it’s important to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling. Give those emotions the outlet they need.

As I was venting talking to my boyfriend, I realized some of what I was feeling was anger over the way I had been treated and grief that I had lost my faith and trust in the person who treated me so unjustly. And yes, I know, life isn’t fair. I don’t expect life to be fair, but I do expect other people to be fair. Sorry, soapbox moment, there.

Once I realized exactly why I was crying, it was so much easier to let the hurt and grief go away. Logic got to come to the party. Logic got to override my emotions and say that I know what the right response to the situation is. The right response is to choose to walk away.

You may think that’s drastic; you may not. But people who don’t know right from wrong are not people who should be in my life. I get the choice of who I associate with and I will not associate with liars and unethical people. You are who you associate with, and I do not want to be known as an unethical liar.

I want to leave you with a picture one of my Facebook friends recently posted. Be a light. Be different. Be change. I’ve posted it before, and it’s probably going to become my closing tag line but Gandhi’s quote is the best: Be the change you wish to see in the world.

 

The Balance Journey (Day 4)

I had the opportunity this morning to say some things I had been afraid to say. It took more courage than I thought I had. Much to my surprise, the other person (my boss) accepted my point of view and made the comment that what I said had never been explained in that way before and made a lot of sense. I made a difference today in how the rest of the team will be treated from here on out.

The long and short of the issue is that there really is no “I” in “Team” but when the team is forced to compete against each other, then that places an “I” in “Team” which doesn’t help the team in any way, shape, or form. I called the entire team on it but especially our boss. I told her I felt some of the reason she isn’t seeing the passion, drive and cooperation from us that she wants to see is because we don’t know what she wants. Are we working together today or are we working against each other today? Can we depend on each other or not? Are we “I” or “Team”?

Please don’t think I’m against competition. One team against another creates great competition. It encourages you to do your best work. But competition inside the team can only lead to destruction. You don’t know who to trust or what to believe. I spoke up against that, not competition on the whole.

I feel empowered for using my voice the way I wanted to use my voice. I had something to say that I needed to say and I said it. I didn’t swallow it and hope someone else would see the injustice and fix it. I did it myself.

As Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”