What exactly am I supposed to be learning and why am I going through this again? Why am I unemployed? Why does my car always break down when I have no income? Why can’t I find a job with decent pay and hours so I can spend time with my daughter? And why is spending time with my daughter a bad thing in a job search? Isn’t it supposed to be faith, family, then work?
I’m tired of this lesson, whatever it is. I don’t like being broke. I don’t like searching for a job. I really don’t like having a car. I also don’t like sounding like a broken record, complaining about things I’m trying to change. I may not like the job search, but I am looking for a job. I need work. I go crazy when I’m stuck in my apartment with no one to talk to. And if I can find a decent job with decent pay, then I can get a better car and not have to worry about it breaking down on me when I can’t afford it.
I’ve had a really shitty couple of years. The one-step-forward-two-steps-back kind of years. I want my break. I don’t want the silver lining. I want the sunshine. I want things to go right for a change. I don’t normally follow the “Joneses.” I don’t need to have things just because other people have them, but in this case, I want a job because it seems like everyone else has one but me and dammit, I need a job. I’ve been on a couple of interviews but so far nothing has come of it. I probably come off too desperate in the interviews because I need a job so desperately. Come on, Fate. I need you to work with me here and send me a job.
(Sorry for this. This isn’t my usual kind of post. I’ll be more upbeat in my next post.)